Madison Zhao sees your red flags and raises you black smoke billowing from a raging fire, surrounded by caution tape as firefighters scramble to contain it.
She doesn’t look like a Madison, does she?
And you’re telling me this little thing – this upright ramen noodle, this young lady who’s built like Olive Oyl (Ah gah-gah-gah-gah-gah-gah!) – is the CEO and cofounder of a billion-dollar company who made Forbes 30 Under 30 and Most Influential Under 40 of Asia?
What’s the name of the company? Oh, you can’t say? Board won’t allow it?
Got it. Totally checks out. HAWINK!
Keep reading for Madison Profit Academy reviews.
Before founding her super secret 10-figure public company, Madison says she did Amazon, she did eBay, she sold a service – all kinds of stuff.
And she noticed she’s really only good at one thing: helping businesses make a profit.
I thought she was gonna say pretending to be a jillionaire on social media.
But whatever.
She launched Madison Profit Company to help aspiring entrepreneurs and small business owners strengthen their mindset and sharpen their skills.
Her pitch is hilarious.
You only live once. Take charge! Why be a poor when you can be a rich? Fuck Harvard Business School! They don’t want you to be free. And fuck course sellers, too!
Um, okay.
She bloviates about how business is all about making a profit. If you’re not doing that, you’re running a charity.
I should really be taking notes.
Eventually, Madison goes over what you’ll learn in her course:
- How to make your first $10k starting with no money
- Secrets to your business success
- How to fail, which is more important than how to succeed
- Designing the right strategy for your business
- Finding your purpose
- Motivating customers to buy
- Finding the right cofounder
- Marketing and sales
- Managing your public image and business reputation
- Attracting investors and sponsors
- Building a strong company and personal brand
- How to hire, scale, maintain, and go global
- How equity works and how to exit your business
Imagine her screeching at you in broken English about all that nonsense. I’d be ready to chew glass by the end of it.
The more she talks, the more she exposes herself.
What do you know a lot about? Dogs? Then sell dog stuff, Madison says. Don’t know anything? Learn something and sell that. Better yet, do something that’s never been done before.
That’s literally the worst advice I’ve ever heard.
Can someone tell Dan Lok to get his little sister off the internet? Unplug the router, kick her off the family plan – do something.
But no, this is Madison’s “Here in my garage” moment.
She’s determined to bless the world with her infinite wisdom. Wisdom that cost her six years and over a million dollars worth of mistakes to gain.
She’s over running a single company. Now, she’s set her sights on changing thousands of companies through her various Skool communities.
You’ve got three different options to choose from:
- Madison Profit Academy costs $19 per month
- Madison CEO Mastermind costs $197 per month
- Madison CEO Leadership Academy costs $199 per month
My advice?
If you sign up for any of these, seek therapy immediately. And maybe get a brain scan to make sure it wasn’t replaced with peanut butter.
Also, don’t touch the elves or they’ll lose their magical powers and snitch to Santa.
What? It’s not just me.
Reddit users describe Madison as a liar and completely unhinged – a failed Chinese matchmaking show and pageant participant turned furu.
Shocking, right?
I mean, I was completely sold on her legitimacy after seeing her 100% real photo at the New York Stock Exchange. The blurred faces of the other founders just screamed authenticity.