John Madsen played tight end for a few different NFL teams before quitting to become an entrepreneur.
Now he’s the annoying guy in the YouTube ads rocking Gucci tees, standing in front of his Lamb truck, telling ya how he’s gonna get ya shredded in just a few hours a week.
Of course, this is assuming you’re an “elite businessman” who makes “at least $100k.” Otherwise he doesn’t want you applying for his Suprahuman coaching program, you little peasant.
Read on for my John Madsen review.
The Supra Human CEO claims he’s already helped thousands of dudes go from flabby and out of shape to “savagely shredded.”
Quite a few of them have sent John before and afters revealing not just their transformations but questionable choices in underwear, unfortunate pec gaps, puffy nipples, and uneven abs.
What? Am I the only one who thinks most guys look better at 20% body fat than 10? That extra bit of blubber camouflages the not-so-aesthetic parts. Similar to girls using foundation to hide acne scars.
All’s I’m saying, bros, is find a happy medium. Leaner isn’t always better.
But back to John.
Suprahuman isn’t for you if you’re living paycheck to paycheck, he says. Or if you’ve been brainwashed to believe that men shouldn’t be strong and powerful. Or if your wife would rather scroll Instagram, buy Louis Vuitton bags, and read romance novels than have sex with you.
You can wear a Rolex and drive a Benz and live in a multi-million dollar home, but don’t call yourself a man if you’re lumbering around with a $2 body, John says.
Suprahuman is for guys who wanna be elite in both business and body, he adds.
Wanna peel your shirt off at the pool and blow your buddies’ minds? Want all the mamacitas whispering to one another about how you look hotter than a stolen earring from Piercing Pagoda?
Suprahuman can assist, John assures us.
It’s the fastest-growing virtual fitness coaching company for a reason: they flat-out deliver.
John and his team have trained:
- World Series champions
- NFL Combine guys
- Division I football players
- And now countless ordinary men just like you
So no matter who you are or what you do – as long as you’re at least a six-figure earner, remember – they can take your Toyota Prius-looking ass and turn you into a Ram TRX.
Are you up for the challenge? Wait, what’s that? You say you’re not sure?
Well go get naked and stand in front of the mirror, John says. Take a long, hard look at yourself. Is that your full potential?
John didn’t think so.
And this is what your wife sees when you step outta the shower. Instead of Magic Mike, ready to ravish her, she notices moobs and a jiggly beer belly, and reminds you to take your insulin.
Don’t you both deserve better?
Isn’t it time you get back to how you looked and felt during your high school basketball days? Or your college track days? Or whenever you were at your absolute best?
Ya know: wide shoulders, small waist, full muscles, defined abs. Strong, fast, capable, confident. Dripping in swagger.
‘Memba those days?
Book a “free consultation” to learn more about how John and company can get you back there.
How much does Suprahuman cost?
I guess you’ll have to wait and see at the end of that call. Judging by all the qualifying he just did though, you know it ain’t cheap.
Here’s where I’m at with this.
The entire pitch felt excessively theatrical and I found myself cringing more than nodding in agreement.
I get it though. You gotta pull out all the stops to sell online fitness training for the kinda money someone could remodel their entire kitchen for.